Judged by the cover and trialed by fire

Dating advice and ideas on where to go and what to do now that you’re going on that first date

Don’t wait until the last moment to decide what and where, because you’ll be “Judged by the cover and trialed by fire”

by Raffaele De Gennaro

Contact each other before the date and begin to explore and share ideas on what to do and plan as much together as possible. After all you both agreed to spend some time together! This is definitely the beginning of a friendship or a possible relationship, so give it your best shot. Whatever you do, try not to assume anything, ask and make sure that what you heard is what was said, because its easy to hear what we want and ignore the rest.

A couple of days before the actual date and again before you meet, turn on the news and glance at the latest headlines or use your computer to obtain info, and your conversation once on the date will be current and smooth. Don’t forget to wear your smile and dress appropriately, your new companion wants to know as much as possible about you, so you will be judged by the cover and trialed by fire before the date is over. Do not leave courtesy and thoughtfulness at home because they will help you out of some otherwise uncomfortable situation that may arise during your date. Always work at smoothing things out, this will give you a slight edge in understanding the other person rather than getting into a match of wits.

Do have some eye contact while you listen to the other person so they know that you are interested and ask questions so the spotlight is shared between the two of you as much as possible. Relieve that tense look in your face by relaxing your posture, as this will help your thoughts to move about freely and you will find yourself conversing as if you had known each other for a while. There are numerous activities besides dinner or the movies, so be creative, explore, share:

Share an activity

Experiencing something new together may be the best way of getting to know each other. Consider taking Salsa Dancing lessons, Ski, Kayak, Trampoline, Cardio Kickboxing, Tennis, Golf, Rock Climbing, Road or Mountain biking, participate in a wine tasting or take a wine class. Interactive activities will give you both the opportunity to acquire new talents and the opportunity to meet again.

Indulge and be entertained together

An outdoor barbeque with live music and dancing under a tent or the stars, a picnic on the beach with fireworks as a backdrop, take a drive through a scenic area and then pick together a place to eat or have coffee, watch an outdoor movie, go to a laser show, visit an amusement park, go to an IMAX movie or take a hot air balloon ride.

What to avoid on your first date

Bar hopping, crowded dance floors and single bars, dining is good but remember to keep it light! You don’t want to be overstuffed and feel too lazy to do any of the activities listed above afterward.

If you made it passed your third date

Make dinner together, play board games together, learn to massage with therapeutic oils, rent a movie and share some wine and appetizers, make a trail of rose petals that leads to a candle lit room, take a stroll and then relax on the beach, just sit on a bench and say as little as possible as you feel the breeze on your face, do yoga together, try to listen to each others heart beat, try kissing tenderly while caressing each other, take a bath or shower together.
But regardless of what you do, or where you go, just make sure that you always take your time and listen carefully to your partner.

Raffaele De Gennaro is a native of Italy and has since his teenage years spent time in the flourishing Hudson Valley. He prides himself on his ability to blend the traditional ways of his native land with the innovative kind ways he’s been shown from the inhabitants of the Hudson Valley. His present focus is on WineDineGuide.com

Photo: Harvest-on-Hudson, the most romantic Restaurant in the Valley all year round with spectacular river views and a 30 foot tall fireplace, to warm your spirit in a cold winter night.